Manifestation

I have had a lot of practice in manifestation. Recently I participated in a class that focused on letting go of our resistance to money. It was a great class and at the end we all committed to an intention that we are to manifest.

Manifesting is always an interesting process, and you never know what will come up. Every time I have focused on an intent, resistance has surfaced. This usually comes in the form of a stuck belief or emotion that is not aligned with my intent.

I felt a surge of power at the beginning of the week, and saw myself doing the work necessary to reach my goal with ease. I had plenty of energy – it felt really good.

Then, on a string of a couple days, I was filled with sadness. I didn’t know why I felt sad, though intuition immediately told me it had to do with my new direction. I chose to be with the sadness, acknowledging it without resistance while remaining open to any messages.

In the meantime, my daughter Zoe finished the 7th grade this week and for the first time will be home alone the whole summer and doesn’t have a lot of plans thus far. So she is enjoying lazy summer days with no responsibility. As I navigated through my sadness, waves of summer memories flooded my energy field – vacations with my family, goofing off with neighborhood friends, endless summer nights – living carefree with no teachers, limited parents, and just being. And with the memories the sadness heightened.

I thought this was a bit strange – these memories were very much happy memories – so why the sadness? I realized then that I was wrong about the sadness having to do with my manifestation– instead I figured I had tapped into Zoe’s experience and was reminded of the lazy summer days of my youth.

As I continued in this space – recapturing fond memories and really feeling the emotions of those times, I realized the memories I was connecting to ended at about the age of 15. I wasn’t swimming in the high school summer memories, or college, or even post-college. Rather the memories were running from the age of about 5 to 15.

So what is it about those times that was different than the later summers of my youth? It didn’t take long to figure that out – by the time I had my driver’s license my summer’s were filled with responsibilities – namely various serving jobs at restaurants I had. Hmmm. That is interesting.

Being that what I was manifesting was a big leap in my healing practice – while still holding a 40 hour a week job and fulfilling my role as husband and father – this revelation was interesting indeed. I continued to explore…

Lo and behold, one answer was apparent. There was a part of me that was quite sad about my intent – a part that felt it would suffocate with this new responsibility. A part that longed for those lazy summer days with nothing to do. Well isn’t that interesting? And doesn’t it make sense, too.

So in a meditative state, I checked in with that belief and the part of me that was holding it. Part of me that really felt is was helping me by its resistance. And I gently spoke to it.
Because this is a huge transition, and when my manifestation comes to fruition, there will be challenges (and probably less down time!). But in the end, when I am doing my healing work full-time, there will be a new opening. And when I write my own schedule, I’ll create a bigger space for that carefree, free spirited child to run around.

You just never know what will come up when you change your trajectory. I’m grateful that I was open and able to move with this energy – and hopefully shift it. And I also know that this is just the beginning…